The waiting room of my life

Every day is a mental puzzle piece that I can not win.

Every day is a mental jigsaw puzzle that beats me

I keep searching for a through-line of reason

I search for logic, for reason, for wisdom and there is none

None that sustains

Lots of small bits of "understanding"

Maybe they last an hour

20 minutes

The only peace I get is sleeping

I wake up in my life of a waiting room

I'm perpetually "on hold" and the hold music is the incomprehensible verbal jumblings of a psychologically damaged adult.

And the kind voice recording that temporarily chimes in to remind me that I'm on hold...comes in the form of an Op-Ed piece, a research finding, a meme, a smart article written by a seasoned pulitzer-prize winning journalist, a pew-study...... and then the hold music again.

For those brief moments when the interruption chimes in, I am fooled into thinking that a real person will finally pick up.

But alas, it's not a real person finally putting my life back on normalcy.

It's just article after article, study after study, Op-ed after Op-ed, book-after-book, temporarily giving me relief from the inane, torturous hold-music of twitter chaos and abusive bullying by a power-obsessed mad man...

My life is on hold.

I wake up feeling instantly chained to being put "on hold" waiting for someone to pick up.

And I can't put the phone down.

I mean, when you're on hold on your cellphone you can put it down...turn the speaker up real high and try doing some little tidy work in the space while you're waiting.

That's about the extent of the freedom I feel inside the minute I open my eyes in the morning.

There's that hold music.

So I do disconnect the phone.

Don't go on FB.

Don't turn on the radio.

Don't read anything.

Don't watch any news.

Basically, act like the person I was when I was 9 years old - where my needs are the center of the universe and my immediate impulses are all that matter.  And no one else exists.

Pretend not to have spent 8 years getting a doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology with years of subscriptions to smart, intellectual magazines and journals.

Basically dumb myself down and self-inflict my own ignorance. 

Because otherwise, the minute I turn back on that NPR, it's the Hold-Music again.

Here's what I believe.

There will never be relief again.

Oh, and now for that temporary hold-music interruption....

 In a speech on the House floor Wednesday, Illinois Congressman Luis Gutierrez announced he has sent a letter to President Donald Trump asking him to resign “for the good of the United States and her people."

“It has become clear… that for decades, the President led a vast criminal enterprise that went on to engage in criminal activity during the 2016 campaign for the White House and has engaged in criminal activity since the President took office ,” Gutierrez said.

In his letter to the president, Gutierrez asks Trump to spare the nation from the “national spectacle of impeachment, which would wound our nation.” He wrote: “Your personal disgrace will be temporary. The lasting damage to the United States of bringing us all down with you will last decades, if not longer.” Congressman Gutierrez ended his speech on the House floor by saying, “Please resign and spare the nation from this ongoing nightmare. Don’t do this to us. Don’t make us go down with you. Step aside, sir, for the good of your country and the world.”